5 Cool Ideas™ for Being Happier
By Michael Angelo Caruso

Being happy seems like such a simple concept and yet, very few people are truly happy.  My father reminded me of this in his letters.  I read the letters in the audio book, “Dear Michael Angelo – A Father’s Life Letters to His Son.”  In one of the letters, he wrote, “As individuals, we want to be happier than other people, which is difficult since we believe them to be happier than they really are.”  Here are 5 Cool Ideas for being happier.

1. Accepting yourself can help you be happy.
   My friend, Dr. Steve Fabick, is a psychologist.  He says that being self-conscious can spoil almost any occasion.  A man, for example, may not enjoy a fast dance with a woman because he can’t stop thinking about how he looks.  Many women are unable to relax if they are underdressed (or overdressed) for a dinner party.  The key to accepting yourself is to be comfortable in any given situation without being held hostage by the need for self-improvement.

2. Make each day a “perfect” day.
   List the things that make you happy.  Be sure to include work and not just fun stuff.  Your ultimate goal is to make sure that the activities on your list occur daily.  When you can systemize these activities, every day will be a perfect day.

3. Helping others helps you.
   Grievance counselors say that helping others is a terrific way to be happier. Create a tandem act of kindness. Distract yourself from problems by helping someone else. Years ago, I made a long-term commitment to Optimist International, Big Brothers/Big Sisters and Rotary International, the oldest professional service organization in the world.

4. Use the “reversal” to get a grip.
   Wrestling fans know about a move called the reversal.  It’s what happens when the victim on the bottom ends up being the victor on the top.  If you blame someone else for your unhappiness, ask yourself, “How long am I willing to be unhappy?”  Reversing the blame will gently force you to realize that you are responsible for your happiness.

5. Happiness is a process, not a place. 
   I once facilitated a meeting for a company whose management preached the famous business model “management-by-objective” or MBO. As I spent time with the employees, it became clear that the rank-and-file were disenchanted with the MBO process. One employee actually told me, “This management- by-objective thing must not be working. This is the fifth year that we’re doing it!” Management-by-objective is a process, not a place. The same is true for the management of emotions. The search for happiness requires lifelong dedication to patience, acceptance and planning.